Tags: advice advice blogger anxiety bell bell let's talk best dog ever best friend best friends best friends forever bff bulemia collar of duty coton de tulear cotonpoo cute cute dogs depression dog dog is love eating disorder ed fluffy how to save a life i love my dog lifestyle love love of my life mental disorder mental health mental illness Parker parker the cotondetulear personal picky poodle princess saved my life the picky princess
Last week was Bell Let’s Talk. Bell donated 5 cents for every text (sent by their customers) or #BellLetsTalk that was used on social media to help battle mental illness. I don’t share my personal experiences with mental illness a lot. Not because I don’t think it’s important. I’ll talk about it openly in person. I just don’t post about it on social media.
I want to share about
how I cope with my mental illnesses. I have been diagnosed with mild depression, and mild anxiety. Growing up, I would have heart palpitations, that as I got older became more prominent as full blown panic attacks. I rarely get panic attacks anymore, but when I do my chest physically hurts for days because I am breathing so hard and my heart is pounding so hard. I struggled with insecurities that led to me developing an on and off eating disorder. Thank fully, I never hurt myself enough that I was in a hospital. However, I did loose the ability to sing an entire octave that I used to hit. This is devastating for a singer and musician.
In July 2015, my life really changed for the better. I met my best friend.
This, is Parker. Parker is a Coton de Tulear Poodle Mix, or Cotonpoo for short.
Growing up, I always loved dogs. I’ve wanted a dog for as long as I could remember. My mother is extremely allergic to pet fur so I watched A LOT of Dogs 101 to figure out what a good hypoallergenic breed would be. I had my heart set on a Coton de Tulear, but when our family met Parker (who was the last of his litter) we fell in love instantly.
I mean I’m not going to lie, he has a bit of an attitude. That’s what I love about him though. He has so much personality I sometimes forget that he is a dog, and not human. He is way too in love with my mother, sucks up to my dad for treats, loves to play with my brother, and kind of chills like a cat with my sister. With me? He just loves to snuggle (taking up my half of the couch), going for walks with me, listening to me play the piano, etc. I always find that he gives me the extra attention that I need to keep my mood up.
He is always going to my #1 priority. I don’t really have an excuse to be too depressed to get up in the morning. He is waiting for me downstairs in his crate to love. When I feel the stress of school, I pull out his pictures on my Macbook or my iPhone and think about him. I remind myself that I have to get through the day so that I can go and take him out for his bathroom breaks. He is the driving force through out my day. He gives me this structure that my anxiety needs, but I’m happy to do it because I love him so much.
He is also really good at sensing things. As soon as someone is sad, or if I start crying Parker will saunter over and make sure you’re okay. He even lets me know if I’m going to be feeling joint pain the next day. He likes to come and lick my knees, or my wrists, or elbows the night before. He is always spot on.
Ever since we got Parker, I’ve suffered a lot less anxiety, and depression. He gives me this sense of happiness and purpose that nothing has ever given me before. I hope that we’re holding hands through life for a very long time.
I know that a lot of people don’t understand this love and attachment that I have for/with my dog. But right at this moment, he is curled under the table at my feet. He is sticking close to me; his sister, and pack mate. If someone comes to the door, he will jump right up and yell at them because he wants to protect us.
There are still some days where I have to ask myself if I feel upset because my depression or my anxiety are in control of me, or if I genuinely feel the way that I currently feel. Friends and family can make me feel like my feelings are invalidated, because they can’t understand what I am going through. Parker, never does. He will just sit/sleep with me on the couch while I binge watch Arrow or The Flash.
He is absolutely my Best Friend, and the love of my life. For good reason though. He saved my life. Whenever I think that I can’t make it because of my mental illnesses, he gives me reason to keep pushing through.
Thanks buddy. You’re my #1.
Follow parker @parkerthecotonpoo on instagram for more photos.
