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Hello my little pickies. I’ve been through like 6 official breakups. That doesn’t count the ones where we weren’t officially dating, blah blah blah. Through feeling shit like 6 times, I’ve realized that there are actually 7 benefits to a break up. This is what TV and my past break ups have taught me:
1. It lets you know that you are human.
Look. Not all of us are like Sheldon Cooper. We can’t go “robot” mode and stop feeling what we are feeling. Getting your heart broken reminds you that we are human. It’s okay to feel the way that you feel. You have to feel bad to know what feeling good feels like, albeit down the road. I also always say, that if you don’t feel sad after a break up, you didn’t love them or you don’t love them anymore. If you are hurting, I think it’s pretty amazing that you know how to love with such a strong capacity. This makes you pretty fantastic and amazing in my book.
2. It motivates you to do better. Get #Beast Mode. Get #Fit
There are two different ways for you to take this. You can either actually believe that you aren’t good enough for someone, or you can make yourself better because you want to be better. Getting your heart broken feels like shit. It’s time to NOT feel like shit. How do you do that? Sounds bad…but you make yourself so much better that you want that other person to feel like they made THE biggest mistake by breaking up with you.
When I went through a breakup, I worked out. I had the BEST body that I ever had during that breakup time. YES. I wanted to get him back. That’s why I did it. When I realized he wasn’t coming back, I didn’t care too much. Why? BECAUSE I looked great and it made me feel fantastic. I was happier, I was flirty, I was fun. I was getting POSITIVE attention from attractive people and It boosted my confidence. Was it shallow? Sure, but it felt damn good. Hey, no shame in feeling sexy.
3. You’re learning something.
Have you ever watched the show Are You The One? Essentially 10 ladies and 10 men/boys have to figure out who their perfect matches are in 10 weeks in order to win $1,000,000. Every time someone thinks that they have a match, and they end up NOT being a perfect match shit usually hits the fan. To win the money however, they have to move on quickly to find their matches. It’s like an incubator to speed up the actual process of getting over someone. From each confirmed “no match” to the next, the contestants learn something about themselves, and about what they actually need from a potential partner.
Every time you get your heart broken, you’re learning just that. I once went out with a guy who I was so in love with, that it took me so long to see (after our break up) that he was NOT AT ALL what I needed. I’m pretty sure he is the type of person who would prefer to have a kept woman. I’m not that. I need a guy who lets me be strong and vocal, and to have my own views.
4. You’re Taking Out The Trash
When food spoils what do you do? You take it out. to the trash. Afterwards? You go shopping for something fresh. Same goes for a relationship. When that crap starts to smell; get rid of it.
You wouldn’t want to eat unhealthy, and spoiled food. So Why would you stay in a relationship like that? The best thing about shopping for new foods is that you get to try new foods that you’ve never had before. Maybe this time you want to try Italian when last time Chinese did not work out.
5. Adding Time To Your Clock
Relationships take up so much time. When you’ve finally broken up with someone you suddenly have a lot of time on your hands. Try something new, try something old! You probably haven’t seen your friends for a while. Go out! You’ll realize that your skin becomes more tan…because you’re finally seeing the light.
After one of my other break ups, I took up kickboxing. It was a great way to get fit, and it made me feel tougher. I did it with a few friends too. I also took out a lot of my aggression about the end of the relationship. Whether you want to hone your #DomesticGoddess skills by baking a wedding cake, or you want to have pizza night with the bros, just do something with your time that is productive. I watched an entire season of How I Met Your Mother on NetFlix once. I mean…that was productive to me…
6. You Become Hot Stuff.
People tend to look hotter after a breakup. After they’ve finished crying rivers, they want to look hot. We eventually hit a wall where we realize “Hey, I should stop crying. I look like shit” and that usually makes us step up our game and dress to impress. We want to start turning heads again.
After the break up I mentioned with the guy that wants a kept woman, I learned how to do my make up. Sure, it was super petty that I wanted to look hot to stick it to him. Now? I get asked how to do my bad-ass eye liner.
7. Do You Even Lift?
A weight will be literally lifted off of your shoulders. A bad relationship is like this extra 100 lbs of sadness and despair. Once you realize that it’s all over, and you’re ready to move on, your whole heart will feel lighter. Go lift actual weights, no one needs emotional weight lifting.
I always say that after a break up, you’re preparing yourself for the final one. It’s like when you’re professor gives you quizzes to lead up to the final exam. You’ll be 100% for the final.
-The Picky Princess-
